On Saturday we were lucky enough to get a date night. My parents watched the kids while the husband and I ate a delicious dinner and caught a movie.
My parents adore my children and they have an awesome relationship with one another.
My sweet little Quinn who just turned three in October wasn’t getting his way. To make a long story short, Gigi (my mom) told him to turn off something he shouldn’t have been watching, but wanted to watch.
Quinn told her, “I don’t love you anymore”.
Ouch! He knew right away it was wrong.
When we got home he was still up. I asked him if anything happened he wanted to talk about. He told me no as he peeked out from under his covers.
In teaching we call these, “teachable moments”.
I told him I knew that he said words that hurt Gigi.
He started balling and telling me he loved me. His main concern was that I didn’t love him anymore.
I told him I loved him. I told him I was sad he used hurtful words. I talked to him about how much words can hurt. How once you say something you cannot take it back. I told him to think before he used his words. I told him how it was okay to feel angry, or frustrated or mad. I told him he could tell someone he was angry or frustrated or mad. I told him he could walk away if it was too much to handle.
I told him he could NOT say hurtful words to people.
I told him he was my sweet boy and I felt sad when I heard my sweet boy said mean things. I told him I want him to stay my sweet boy.
Everything I told him, I told him calmly and with love.
He apologized to his Gigi and then quickly diverted anymore negative attention by bringing up the girl at McDonalds that hit him back before Christmas. My mom and I had to hold back our laughter. Don’t worry, he told Santa about her too and brings her up on a regular basis.
Quinn’s words were hard for me to swallow. I know my kids will say mean things, and talk back and be embarrassed by me and all the other normal stuff kids do. I guess I just thought my baby would stay my baby longer.
Growing up means making mistakes. Lots of them. It also means learning from those mistakes and recovering from them with grace.
I find comfort in knowing Quinn knew what he did was wrong. I find comfort in knowing he apologized. I find comfort in knowing he listened during our conversation.
I took advantage of this mistake. I used it as a teaching tool. My chance to talk to him about the importance of choosing your words wisely. He is impressionable enough that it just might stick.
Truthfully, as a mom I am figuring it all out too. With love, a sound example and lots of teaching opportunities I hope to raise some stellar children. In the mean time I am feeling a little broken-hearted over how quickly my baby is growing up. Anyone else?
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