Work & Soul Searching

I have a job interview tomorrow. This put me in a place I didn’t expect to be. It made me feel sick to my stomach. I’ve cried, I’ve prayed and I have talked with anyone who would listen. After much discussion my husband and I have decided that I am going to pass on the interview. It isn’t right for our family at this time.

printable here

The decision is complicated and layered. The first and most important component is that where my husband and I want me to be is at home with the kids. Me at home with the kids is a gift to him too. It allows him to go to work and focus his energy there. He doesn’t have to shift his hours or worry about daycare drop-offs or school drop-off. He knows the kids are well cared for and loved and gets updates and pictures. It offers him a peace of mind, because these little guys are his world too.

And yet, here we were–on the brink of sending me back to work. Why? Nearly 5 years on one income is a pretty good stretch and I am amazed we have made it this far. Money has felt especially tight, credit cards became the back up and this was making us uncomfortable. So we crunched the numbers– and It looks like I might be able to walk away with $800/month working full-time.

The interview for the teaching position is for a classroom that is a mess. Walking into an out of control classroom, mid-year with a difficult group of children is not an ideal situation for me. Was an overwhelming, challenging job that forces the husband to shift his hours and the kids into daycare for $800/month worth it? At the end of the day, we decided–it isn’t.

I will be calling the principal in the morning, and telling her that upon further discussion we have decided that this is not the best fit for our family at this time.

Generating income is still a necessity. We have decided to focus more energy into the blog as one avenue to increase income. I’m looking into subbing one day a week, if I can get a little help from family. My dad, a realtor, thinks I should get my license. There is a lot to explore. I can only believe that if I follow my heart and do what is right and good and work hard, it will all come out ok in the end.

Have you found yourself in this position? How do you balance it all?