The other night I was brushing my teeth and talking to Ross. I don’t even remember what we were talking about. The kids probably. We talk about them–a lot.
Then I got the hiccups. Can we take a moment to appreciate how annoying the hiccups are?
It is late. It is always late, because we don’t go to bed like normal people. In fact, it is pushing midnight as I write this.
So it was late and I climbed into bed hiccups and all. I’m laying there, thoroughly annoyed (but lazy) hiccuping away and bam! Ross is up in my face SCREAMING! It is dark so I can sense him there, but not really see him. Who does that?
Me: Umm (hiccup)….what are (hiccup) you doing?
Ross: I thought I could scare your hiccups away.
Me: Yeah, (hiccup) it didn’t (hiccup) work…you know (hiccup) what always works?
Ross: No, what?
Me: Drinking (hiccup) water upside (hiccup) down and backwards.
Ross: How do you drink water backwards?
Me: From the (hiccup) back of the cup (said with great annoyance).
Ross: That isn’t drinking backwards, it is the only side you can drink out of when you are upside down or it will spill.
Me: Whatever–you (hiccup) know what I (hiccup) mean. Don’t you want to (hiccup) go get a cup of water for me (hiccup)?
Me: Well don’t (hiccup) expect me to help you out (hiccup) when you get the hiccups!
Ross: I don’t get the hiccups. I’m a superior species.
I laughed, because I think he is funny. That is kind of the best part about marriage–being yourself with your best friend and laughing at just how ridiculous they and you are.
I don’t want to leave you all on the edge of your seat. I drifted off shortly after that hiccuping and woke up without the hiccups.
It is a miracle!
But now for the most important question of all: How do you get rid of your hiccups? Assuming you aren’t a superior species like the hubs.
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