I don’t really know what brings people to Balancing Home. Some of you might just be in it for the free printables (I don’t blame you), some of you might be looking for craft or decorating inspiration, some of you might be looking for a connection and some of you might have found one. The odd thing about a blog post is you put it out there for all to see and everyone or no one can be reading it. If you are a printable and craft kind of reader you might want to stop by later, because it is about to get personal up in her (translation: here).
I was rocking Eleanor to sleep the other night. I was in the mom moment. You mothers probably know what I am talking about. That moment where you are snuggling and they smell so good and they are so soft and you think, oh-my-god-I-want-to-remember-this-moment-forever. That moment where panic takes over you because time is passing too quickly and you need time to hold still so you can take it all in. I was having one of those moments. As I was having “that” moment I realized how cliche it sounded. Thus, this blog post was born.
There are so many mom cliches. We head into motherhood with all sorts of visions of what being a mom is and what kind of mom we will be. We have our own mothers as models, maybe a few friends who have gone before us and then there is T.V. The problem is: our moms didn’t tell us the truth about being mom (Hey kid you drive me crazy I want my single life back) and our friends are too afraid to admit it and T.V. …well, it is T.V. So here are a few truths about being mom.
#1 The day your child is born is not the greatest day of you life. I’m sorry, it just isn’t. If a magic fairy came and told you that you could live one day in your life over this is not the day you would pick. Did something amazing come from that day. Hell yes! Was it the best day of my life? Hell no. The scariest, yes. The most exhausting, yes. Emotionally, mentally, physically E.X.H.A.U.S.T.I.N.G. day ever! You do not know tired until you have grown a human being, birthed it and then tried to take care of it. People will tell you how tiring it is, but you just don’t get it ’til you are in it. My guess is that those who have gone before you don’t even truly get it. I think our brains block a lot of it out and it all becomes a foggy memory. We knew we were tired, but we don’t truly remember what that exhaustion feels like.
#2 You cannot live the same life, but with a baby along for the ride. Yup, I’m guilty of this. I pictured my life, but with a baby. Target, shopping, showers, phone conversations. Yup, I pictured my life the same, just now there was a baby in the cart. Doesn’t work like that ladies. Suddenly it is baby first. Shower? What shower? Suddenly your life is dictated by nap schedules and feedings, diaper changes, and moods. What use to take ten minutes now takes thirty. Life isn’t the same. It is completely different. In all honesty I mourned for my old life. I mean I love my children. I love them in a way I never knew I could love. That doesn’t change how overnight life as I knew it vanished. The good news is this new life grows on you and you cannot imagine it any other way. What do people without kids do with their time? Hmm…
#3 There is no supermom. Okay, there are days where I feel like I am supermom. I remember my first outing as a mother of two when I had to go to the bathroom and both kids needed their diapers changed and it was just me flying solo. I managed to pull it off and damn it I felt like supermom. Seriously people, I was really proud. Like pin a medal on my letter jacket proud. I juggle a lot, I do a lot, but I never have it all together. The good news is, no mom does. If she says she does, its a lie! Don’t believe it. Why do I feel the need to put the kabosh on supermom? Unrealistic expectations only lead to feelings of inadequacy. I think there is enough out there telling us we are inadequate. No need to add to the list.
#4 You will have a meltdown and that is okay. You are responsible for bringing up another human being, it is inevitable. My first meltdown (and probably worse) happened after coming home from the hospital. Quinn would not stop crying, I hadn’t slept in a week (that probably isn’t even an exaggeration), I had been through labor and a c-section and now hours upon hours of crying from Quinn. I literally couldn’t cope. I freaked out. Yelled something about not wanting to be a mom and giving up (as if that was a choice). I just pictured the rest of my life like this. I found ear plugs and slept on the couch. The husband stayed up with the baby and I got three precious hours of sleep. That was enough to make me sane (thank god!). Were my feelings normal? I don’t know. What is normal anyways? All I know is we feel what we feel and we can’t beat ourselves up over it.
There is so much more about being a mom that I could talk about. Maybe that will have to wait for another post. The good news is this truly is the best job in the world. That is one cliche you can believe in. Like anything worth having it takes a lot of hard work. It has its ups and its downs, but you can be sure that nothing will bring you more joy in your life.
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