Ironically, after writing about seeking balance and being pulled in a million directions and mom guilt (this post)– this week happened. Monday afternoon was a regularly scheduled OB visit to check up on me and baby number four and it was also coupled with the much-loved glucose test.
For those of you not familiar, you drink a disgusting drink similar to a soda syrup and then wait an hour to have a blood draw. This would be my fourth time doing it. Tuesday morning I was awoken by my phone, which is pretty rare. I saw it was my doctor’s office and I’m pretty sure I mumbled, “Oh shit” while answering. Everyone knows the doctor doesn’t call you for good news.
The nurse is on the line telling me my glucose results for the screening were outside the normal range and that I would have to come in for the three hour test. She is asking me if I can come in tomorrow and I keep pulling my phone away to look at the time and my husband sleeping next to me and the time and my husband sleeping next to me, trying to figure out what day of the week it is.
At which point I muffle the phone and say to Ross, “Do you know what time it is?” and he mutters, “yes” and rolls over. I schedule my appointment for Thursday, because I’m not entirely sure what I am going to do with three kids for three hours and I figured that gives me time. After I hang up, I wake Ross up and he realizes he doesn’t know what time it is, because he is suppose to be at work already.
Magically, he never heard his alarm or it never went off and none of the kids woke up. Why don’t these things happen on Saturdays? The bright side to failing the glucose screening is Ross wont be as late to work. He takes the car, because we only have one and he is late, and I’m left car-less and missing my orthodontist appointment that I was suppose to be heading to that morning.
Later in the day Quinn pees his pants while waiting for the bathroom, because we only have one, and I’m left thinking–today is not our day!
Well I can’t stop obsessing over my test and reading everything on the internet about it, so I call back and ask if I can just come in tomorrow. Ross rearranges things to be home with the kids. I need to be at the lab by 7:30. Once again, we have one car and I don’t want to leave the gang car-less and I don’t want to wake them either, so I walk. It is only like 20 minutes.
Then I endure a finger prick, a blood draw–all laying down, because I hate needles and passed out the last time a needle and I met while sitting up. I drink the disgusting syrup and I sit in the lab for an hour. Another blood draw and I sit for another hour. Another blood draw and I sit for an hour. Final blood draw and I’m out of there.
My three hours wasn’t all for nothing since I finally started reading, The Girl on the Train. That only held me over for so long, because I was starting to fall asleep. While I was waiting, a woman came in and her voice was shaky and I couldn’t quite tell if she was crying or laughing, but something wasn’t right. She was checking in for blood work. Finally, the lady checking her in says, “Are you alright?” and the woman goes, “I’m having twins!”. They had just come from their 9 week ultrasound and surprise! It was pretty cute to see her and husband processing this news.
Ross and the gang picked me up and he headed off to work. I pestered the office for my results, only to find out they were diagnosing me with gestational diabetes. When I first heard the diagnosis, I felt angry, embarrassed and overwhelmed. I was kind of at the point, with 3 kids and 10 weeks to go, that I was wondering how I was going to make it through the next 10 weeks. Now this! All these babies have added unwanted weight to my small frame that I had been working really hard to get rid of. I put some of that back on over the holidays, before getting pregnant and I felt really disappointed in myself. It was just something I really didn’t want to talk about and at this point. I didn’t even know what the diagnosis meant.
Meanwhile, all my family is calling to check on me and I just want to be invisible. So I left my phone at home and went on a walk with my family. Eventually I texted my mom something like, “I have gestational diabetes. It sucks and I am angry and don’t want to talk about it”. On Thursday, it didn’t feel quite as big. My mom really wanted Ross to be there for support so she offered to come over and watch the kids. I spent the afternoon rounding up soccer gear, filling water bottles, cleaning (because who wants someone to watch the kids in a disaster) and prepping a quick dinner. Ross ducked out of work early and we went to see the nurse educator.
She walked us through testing my blood, which I need to do four times a day. What I should be eating, carb counting, how often, etc. By the time we were finished I felt much better about everything. It felt much more doable and a whole lot less scary. Meanwhile, my mom piled the kids in the minivan (we had done a car swap in case we weren’t back in time for soccer) and we pulled up, jumped out of her car and into ours to get Quinn to soccer on time.
Right when I was searching for balance–the energy and time to give to my kids, my family, my home, my blog–this came. Soccer started and around 5 hours of unexpected of doctor appointments came out of nowhere. I feel really off my game right now.
What I do know is that I can do hard things. My blood sugar has been good and easily managed by monitoring my carb intake, which is a huge relief. Fingers crossed it stays that way. On the bright side, it is a kick in the butt to have healthy habits for the whole family. My marathon-running, health-nut, size 2 primary doctor had gestational diabetes and for some odd reason, that was of comfort to me. I think it helped me stop blaming myself. Sure, I could have better habits and have been thinner, but that is no guarantee. I reminded myself that this is the worse pregnancy news I have ever gotten and it is completely manageable! So in the big picture I’m all good.
This week just threw me for a loop and it took me a second to come around.
Want FREE printables and more. Join my newsletter!
Subscribe to get our latest content by email.